the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
