"it" just moved
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
