and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
