If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
