I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
