Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
