to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
