the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
