Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
