If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
