I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
