Its about making memories worth repressing
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
