I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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