clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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