I think im going to throw up on grandma
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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