HIV tests are more positive than that guy
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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