For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize