the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
