She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
