READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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