lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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