That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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