I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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