I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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