Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
