I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
