So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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