let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
