All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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