I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG