It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize