the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
