I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
