everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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