everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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