I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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