you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize