How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm sobbing to NWA
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
