so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
