Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
