I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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