She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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