is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
