I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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