Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
