Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
