i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
