girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
