guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
