I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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