apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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