Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
