i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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