Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize