no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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