So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
