just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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