I feel like I'm in dance class right now
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
