you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
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All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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