Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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