Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize