Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
no, he came in my armpit
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
3 2 1 whiskey
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
