Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you had me at cake vodka
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
