I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
