I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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