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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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