Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
