Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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