ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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