C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
