nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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