She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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