MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
