hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
