Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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