Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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