My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
