it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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